Thursday, March 20, 2014

im horrible

the fast was going pretty well today... Until I got home. 

at school I only had a piece of gum (5cals) and like a half of a strawberry from a friend. I didn't really count them because aside from the gum, the strawberry was pretty healthy. Plus I worked off any of those calories walking home. 

Home. I get home and my stomach kills with hunger. I decide to eat a luna bar, because I didn't want to deal with the feeling later and it would be enough to fill me up for a while without feeling too full. But then, once I start, I can't stop. I go for the ritz crackers, then it's taffy, then a pack of Oreos with peanut butter. Then, my mom made curly fries. With cheese. Cheese. Cheese fries are one of my favorite things and If I said no she'd know something was up. 

I aways fuck up! 
But as I took a shower, I did some excerciese that involved moving my hips and waste. I did it until my waste burned. I actually feel a bit better, not as full but I still feel like shit. I might make some peppermint tea, it's good for digestion and getting rid of the bloating feeling. 

I want to prove to myself that I can do this. Tomorrow I will not eat lunch (I don't eat breakfast I haven't since I was 10) and not dinner. Since I am going to see Divergent tomorrow with a few friends I might allow myself some popcorn or low cal candy. Idk if it's even worth it because it's so damn expensive. It's like $5 for a small popcorn. Jesus. 

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